17th Of May, 2016


Again, there is 8.
There are three 8s in a month, 8; 17 nad 26th. All 8s are not bad. It’s just calender making easy to divide time into days. It’s 8 number there and I can’t skip the day. No matter what I do, it will be counted in my life either I spend the day sleeping or running.

I wonder, how superstitious I am!
Really it proves me I’m not a rational man.

It’s all because of my teenage days, I used to read books much about astrology, palmistry, kundali, samudrik, etc. They helped me nothing to peep into my future but made me superstitious instead. I never found my future in my teenage what I’m living now. It’s further for my teenage. If I had some idea that I would be jobless at my 34, I would do hardwork to crack civil services. But I was assured, that I would be either a top government officer or popular politician or actor, religious speaker or at least an successful advocate.

And I’m laughing.
All their predictions proved fail.
I won!
They are defeated.

This is interesting to see me I’m not what I was assumed to be. I’m not what they wanted to see me. I’m what which is new and uncertain. I’m now there where they can’t imagine any good for me. And I will beat them again.

Some of them thought me to become a civil servant. They were proud of me. Some wanted me to be a teacher in college. Napoleon and Phantom were my heroes! It’s interesting to see that all there assumings were imaginations of their minds. It’s good I’m not what they wanted me to be.

Nobody, even me, had thought me to choose acting as my profession. And until I become an established actor, I can’t say acting is my profession.

Should I compare?
Some of my friends in schools are settled well with their families. They have their own house, bikes, some have cars. They used to think me become a higher positioned officer in government. Some of my friends are settled in abroad, working in MNCs, earning well. My college friends were mostly sons and daughters of small businessmen. Most of girls have got married and boys are helping their fathers in their shops. Some of them have own shops too.

Everyone has reached almost ther where they had thought to be in their future. It’s only me who is still on the way. Am I really on the way? I have doubt! I see myself not on the way but in a dense jungle, or in desert. Somewhere, lost. Sometimes walking downhill, sometimes running uphill. Digging on desert finding water, and then running to see illusions of water there. Reaching nowhere!

I’m lost for others, but I’m always with me especially when I’m in pain, feeling sorrow, suffering. At least, there is me for myself.

Number 8 makes me think more. It’s not magic of number 8 but my worries emerging from my superstitions.

(In above photo I really look like superstitious stupid man. LOL, I worked much to bring about this expression on my face for this photo)


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