Baki Itihas: After Suicide 

Sharad in Baki Itihas finds suicide an interesting incident. He believes that person does not commit suicide if he is aware about his emotions and thoughts, also, if he has completely lost his mind and has become lunatic, he does not commit suicide then too.
Only an unnaturalness, a sort of artificiality in mind or in its functioning leads one to think about committing suicide. If one commits suicide, it means by Sharad, he was sick, his mind had been facing unnaturalness for a long time.
Kanu Sanyal was said to be sick physically. He was alone and living simple life in his small hut with no luxury. According to newspapers and news channels, farmers in Vidarbh area are committing suicide because of poverty and loan they can’t return to banks. She was successful actress but said, she killed herself because she had fighting with her boyfriend left her. Azad shot himself dead because he had no hope to doze police. He didn’t want to get caught alive.
Generally it’s believed that one is determined to commit suicide is in depression. He finds nothing to live for, or sees no hope in life.

– here, the person may have many options left but in general he choses two:
> To end life and die.

Yuyutsu killed himself though he fought for justice but his parents and people started hating him. He had no hope to get love and respect back from his family and people.
> To live reluctantly unwillingly till death.

He does not kill himself literally. He does not hang himself with roap, he doesn’t sink himself with stone in river. He just stop living his life. Life itself becomes suffering for him but he does not complain. He becomes quiet, silent, reluctant observer, having no happiness no sorrow. He actually is one who has lost the taste of life.

I read Baki Itihas three years ago in Sajid Shukla’s small library. I liked some of its lines very much. Recently I saw this photo in Jeff Duffy’s Facebook wall and it reminded me about Yuyutsu in Andha Yug. I played the character commits suicide the same way on stage. This photo also made me rethink over Sharad’s dialogues in Badal Circkar’s Baki Itihas.

It’s necessary to have an addiction or hobby in life otherwise it becomes boring after some time. Maybe this is the reason  why people in old age discourage youngsters to live enthusiastic life, because their lives have no enthusiasm and hope for future.
Addiction (good or bad, depends on different minds) and hobby keep life going tasteful, colourful. They who propagate hopeless sad boring life are actually dead people, they are zombies. Buddha was different, he doesn’t just talk about suffering but warns about it also provides solutions. So Buddha is still alive.

Sharad reads a news and that makes him to think over (not about) – committing suicide.
I don’t know everyone faces depression, the real darkness, in their lives or not.
Sitanath died because he had nothing left to live for. He had completed his life. His life had become an unwanted weight on him, so he chose to leave the burden from his shoulders. He was bored with his life, he came to know that nobody can do anything, everything will go on its way.

22:39 Wednesday

3rd of August 2016

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