Kartavya & Saundarya

I never guessed I would be so poor and financially weak in future. I was always confident about my life path. I would think the life would go according to my plan but I could not crack the exam for civil services and my life entered into darkness. A little hope I still had has been disappeared after knowing that acting is easy but getting work in acting is much difficult.
Now I don’t know what to do for earning money. I thought, doing work is enough to earn money but I see that my efforts doesn’t work. I did many plays without money, I assisted in writing and tv serials’ direction also in production house but they didn’t pay me.
Another thing I have come to know that I don’t know how to ask for work. Earlier in Jabalpur I was offered to work in local albums so I did. Here in Mumbai I got first shoot in Savdhan India through audition (though my performance in shoot was too worst that the production house never repeated me again). I was selected for Sharon Ply’s ad, I performed Charlie Chaplin, through photos I sent for and later l was finalized after audition. Yes, they also had to work much on my act, they gave me workshop for one week after selecting me. Sadda Haq I did through coordinator, then in a show I did some comedy characters for DD KISAN in April, and my last work I did a short film. It was the first time I was offered work through Facebook, without audition I got selected and did shoot (i didn’t asked for payment). Although, after the short film I did one more shoot but that was just for few seconds, I was paid 101/- INR for that.
Since my chindhood it was already cleared in my mind that ‘kartavya path’ and ‘saundarya path’ should be different. I wanted to earn money through job and continue theatre as hobby. I never wanted to make it a source of income (if I get some money from acting is not bad). After my failure to crack civil service examinations, I chose acting as a carrier option.
People believe the hobby should be carrier. I never accepted this. I had to choose my hobby as carrier option but still I see it’s not good. I still believe that the source of income and hobby should be different. Both should go parallel and simultaneously. ‘Soundarya Pksh’ and ‘Kartavya Paksh’ should not be mixed together.
Money is important. It’s not everything but most of the things in human society are governed by money. I have been ignoring this money-system was my fault and I’m solely responsible for that. I had been offered to teach students of post graduation just after qualifying NET-&-JRF in 2005 (December) but I refused it saying the time was to study for myself. I actually dislike to be a teacher and I was sure about my carrier as an IAS officer. I’m proved not just wrong but also failure.

One who can’t earn money is considered loser and failure in his life, no matter what he earned through his experiences in life, no matter how is character, and in behaviour. 
Financially weak people have to face many difficulties in their lives.

I don’t know if financially strong people live happily or not. I have never been rich financially.

13:00 Friday 

5th of August 2016

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