No Time For Self


“If you have time for Facebook, You have time to Meditate.”
— I read this quote yesterday on Facebook with Buddha’s photo, posted in a Facebook page propagating Buddhism. It has been echoing in my mind since yesterday – and because I didn’t go out today, I had been reading posts on Facebook and Whatsapp, and this is how I have wasted my day. Now is 00:14 am and I’m about to sleep. I know I may not sleep within minutes, and again my mind will take me somewhere in past, or in future, or it will be converting my desires into film inside.
I won’t be at present. They say — “If you are sad, you are in past. If you are anxious, you are worried about future. If you are in peace, you are at present.” Nice Quite, probably by Buddha, I don’t know properly.
Last morning I went to sleep again, and I was not actually sleeping. So I tried to watch what mind is trying to show me. I didn’t try to move those pictures, it was mind changing pictures one by one, and I was unsuccessfully trying to hold on each picture, and when I lost my consciousness I have forgot. When I wake up again, it was 13:30, noon.
Mind is so clever — I can say because of my own experience. Mind is harmful when it’s governed by emotions, which themselves are emerged by outer attractions. Here I can say — Budhananda’s book ‘Mann Aur Uska Nigrah’ was initially very helpful for me. Now I’m at least able to see what mind is willing about. I’m not governed by mind – 100% I’m not free from mind, but I’m aware a little, and so I know what mind tries me to think or wish about. But I don’t have control over my mind — I accept.
Okay

Still, there is something which keeps me run by mind – and Body functions according to instructions, — there I know, which instruction is coming out from where, but between instruction and act, I exist. This “I” is awareness, which lasts until the ‘act’ is done.

Then, — after the act, there is past with memory, with emotions begotten by the ‘act’.
If had a little control over my mind, I would not have wasted my day. I would have been praying, meditating, working, running for auditions, ..
00:45 Tuesday 25th October 2016

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