After Work , Before Payment 

​Around 11 pm yesterday I reached home. I was not tired but little hungry. Of course the day was fantastic by audience’s response and also we spent some time in small river. I have forgot the name of that river, or it’s just a link to ocean. It is near Shedung Village, Panvel, Raigarh. I will upload photos later.
So the trip of Raigarh has been completed. Payment was said to be done half after the tour, but we are still unpaid. The person handling street plays, said the first half of payment will be done soon and rest of the payment will be given after 15 days.
I’m not clever to get money from others. I’m not smart to cheat people. I’m simple, I’m almost stupid because I don’t want to be Go Getter.
I don’t like the feeling of labourers after work, standing and hoping to get paid, contractor comes with money and pays everyone their wages. When I used to do work in Events, same feeling I used to have while getting paid.
Amount is small and I’m needy person – they, who are contractors, are making good money from projects and I’m just a part which is performing on street, to propagate someone else’s products. Currently, the bank we are doing street plays for, has given contract to a lady who is handling this project is said have bought her house and cars within six years through the same project. I wonder, why can’t I do this! Why don’t I have this ability to make people fool, to earn money from commissions.. I admit, I’m stupid.
I’m not sure when the payment will be done. I don’t trust on words, even papers or documents are not to be trusted. The person who has to pay, pays when he has money, when hae has mood or intention to pay. I’m still unpaid for shoot I did for my brother’s friend. Another shoot I did for Hamnavaan, a tv serial was on air on DD National, I got the cheque after 9 months.
I feel, I’m not part of economic society. I’m still revolving in the outer most orbit of this economic society. People, around whom the economic society revolves, are industrialists – businessmen – ..where is me? For me a hundred rupees note is enough to spend a week if I have internet and balance in phone. 50/- balance is enough for me to spend one month. This is how I live – in other side I see people having expensive flats in multi storied buildings, putting on expensive clothes, eating expensive dishes in MacDonald and pizza huts, CCD, etc. Where is me? I’m outside of CCD, pizza huts, McDonalds, KFC. I don’t have money to eat there. I can not imagine myself to spend money in Taj. Don’t say, because I cannot imagine so I won’t make it – words are sometimes to motivate emotional people – reality is different and out of Self Help Books.
Money is there, people are rich. They who make houses or work in farms are poor while they who don’t work physically are rich. This economic society is an evil and if I use religious words, I would say, economic society must have been originated & created by Satanists who had intention to be richer and facilitated than other people. 
I’m waiting for the call from person said to pay falf payment today. Let’s see.. 
Person is like helpless and dependent after work is done and payment is to be done.

12:43 Sunday 20th November 2016


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