23rd December 2016 Friday 

​They say ‘do not complain and watch out what thought or which emotions are their in your mind. Accept it what the reality is.’

I’m waiting outside, washroom is occupied, need to go to for toilet. My mind is hoping for washroom be empty soon. It’s morning and peak time for toilet goaers. Na I’m not complaining, I’m not cursing anyone inside washroom, and I’m obliged to believe it’s conspired by god to punish me because maybe un past someone had to be waiting like me now, and I would be having occupied the washroom (joking).
Spirituality and Religion is helpful for those who are clever. Rest are spiritual and religious just to keep themselves illusioned, it provides them an escape from their problems.
I understand my inner flow driving me towards Tai Chi, physical movements, breathing exercises, ..I don’t find me crazy for acting. Of course, media field is better than other fields for getting fame but the person gets fame, reaches on that level anyhow. I don’t know how to get work in acting. My nature is not like that to keep asking for work from casting directors and coordinators. I sometimes doubt on me if I’m on wrong track running reluctantly because I’m I can’t change the track. I’m fascinated about Monk-Life since my childhood but never got the chance to experience Shraman Life. My inner flows towards Zero, outer desires for fame and respect. I wish, I would not be problems of money. I wish, I could be enjoying my life in learning, reading, traveling, exploring new things, getting fame, earning respect, winning hearts of people ..
Financial difficulties limits one’s life. I don’t know how to earn money. I can’t glorify myself, I can’t lie. I’m not a businessman. I never learned how to get into in market. Those who are good businessmen, have ability to be prosperous. – according to a great businessman, ‘If you are poor at 35, you are not willing to be rich.’ And he was right. I found myself not attracting money. How to get money, doing jobs, meeting casting persons, requesting them for work, all I don’t know. I go to production houses, I ask the casting person if there is any audition going on. They say “nothing is going on”, I say Thank You. I’m not fit in almost all auditions for TVCs. I don’t know how to crack the Vyuh.
Just have deactivated Facebook again. I’m tired of Facebook. Whatsapp also is time killer app. Though Facebook deactivation is temporary but hoping to use rarely. Now, these social sites are not only mediums to be connected with family & friends. Now call rate is cheaper, messenger Whatsapp etc. are best for video calls also.
21:33 Friday 23rd December 2016


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