How does one earn money?
There are so many ways and the way I’m using doesn’t seem good to me. The way is good. One can also get fame and popularity through this way but rarely one who is average looking can get work here in good character. Those who are considered average looking are also not actually average. They are upmarket or better looking than others. When I go to production houses, I request casting persons to meet. If they meet, they say ‘nothing is happening, meet later’ and I say ‘ok’ and I leave the place with smile.
Yesterday I was coming from Meera Tower, I found two kids running and stopped at turning and say ‘hay bhagwan mujhe bhagaao’ (oh god, let me run/oh god, help me to run) and started running again. – they may not know, they made a dua for themselves. I don’t know it would work on them or not. Elder of them ran faster than younger one. I came home.
If I say ‘bhagwan mujhe famous actor banaao’ (god help me to become famous actor/ god let me be famous actor) would it work? I don’t know. I’m not sure. If I become famous actor, then it would be because of faith or faith on god? If I don’t become famous actor then my faith will be questioned or the god? The elder boy ran faster then younger one because the god was to support him? The god was not with younger one? God was with both of them because both of them were running according to their capacity. Is that their faith what kept them running or power of god? ..one who is devoted to some deities or gods or any concept of creator, has different way of thinking while a a rational person is closer to practicality. All who ignore the unseen are atheists, and theists are those who pursue their life according to practicality. I have faith on unseen, in invisible. It’s not god or any imaginary person, it’s Tao! So I believe and have faith on invisible, undefined, I have faith in sound from without strokes, ..and I believe in Love, I believe Love can unlock everything. I believe the feelings and thoughts exist, also that emptiness too exists from which all emotions and thoughts emerge to form all actions as results. And still, when I’m in any production house, Love is not there. Sometimes people behave very badly. Ok I can understand they have to face same situations, artists come and ask same question, so it makes them feel irritation. But why so in my case? Either, I don’t have Real Love in my heart which can attract people to offer me work, or something is wrong in me. Na, people are not bad. They are just my reflection. If they are in my world, they are my creations, they do exist out of my vision too, but if they are part of my life then they are redaction of me. Yes, when I’m hesitant, they make me feel low. Mind is mine but works not for me. It’s too mysterious. And I must be master of it. I need work. And I don’t know how many times I have to face failure! This time is good, but worldly results are not what is expected from me. I’m reluctant too so not all faults are from outside.
15:12 Sunday 15 January 2017