Everyone knows how to earn money. Everyone earns money. I ignored earning money when I was young and I see now I am too late to realize that I am not good to earn money.
I may do non-profitable work though.
Nowadays, everyone, whom I meet, starts telling me to earn money. They just begin with importance of money for survival. Today, Bh. Karunapal suggested me to take Robe in area so that I will be getting food in my surroundings. He recalled when he had no food for three days and many such difficulties he had to face after getting Chivar.
On 13rd when I was in train to Gondia, three passengers were Buddhists but one of them was cleverer than others. He took voluntarily retirement, got money, placed his only sone on the same job, still taking pension and managing an NGO as a president. His words were ‘wake up and you start spending money.’ Of course he was right. I am stupid.
I remain immatured.
Shafi also is fighting for stable and secured financial life. I am in train with no thought for tomorrow. I have less than one thousand in pocket and two bags only. I have survived on snacks given by Chi Chi and did lunch today at Shailendra’s place. Three packets are still there.
It’s raining outside. The train is supposed to reach Hz. Nizamuddin around 12. I don’t know how to reach Loni Road Buddha Vihar. I don’t know if they don’t accept me as Shramner. I have an optional move in mind to be beck to Mumbai seeking Rahula Bodhi in Ghatkopar. But I don’t want to go to home again.
I met my elder brother on a Chai tapri near Lokhandwala, after coming from Surat. I said I am not interested to talk to him. I was then about to leave, he asked why? I said him to leave then. I am still not happy with them.
22:13 Saturday 15th July 2017
I’m only in Green Park that has been continuing with Chinese friends so it was easy for others to notice me. I don’t know what people think about me or about my friends from China. Some people said me they like my Tai Chi movements. A person, more than 50 years, has sometimes asked me to teach him Tai Chi but I took his words not seriously. When he suggested me to start a class and he would like to be my first paying-student, I agreed happily.
Next day, at decided time I reached at the park and he was six minutes late.
I asked him if he wants to learn without pay or would like to pay my fees?
I said 500/- rupees for 45 minutes session, per day, and he would learn 24 within 5-7 days, and rest 20 days will be for practicing.
Maybe, he misunderstood my words and thought I would charge 500/- per day for entire the month while my fees would be for 7 days only. Rest 20 days practice would be free. Initial 7 days I would ask him to be continue and and sincere.
He said he would give me 5000/- for entire the month.
I said – OK.
We started the class. And after some movements he found Tai Chi is too difficult for him. He thought me doing Tai Chi movements are smooth and easy but he realized too difficult and said – ‘Shekhar, I think I need to study it more then I should come to you again.’
I said – OK
I suggested him to watch videos also.
And this is how I lost my first paying student. My commercial class has been stopped before starting.
I think, I’m not good for teaching. Some people say me a good teacher but this example and experience was not good for me as Tai Chi teacher.
Another lady wanted to learn and after some classes she left. She also said me that she would give some fees but she never came back.
I feel, they like to see me doing Tai Chi, they feel it is easy and relaxing exercise, for body and mind but it is difficult when it comes to do for them.
..or I’m not good person to teach these people.
I don’t have any other options. Teaching Tai Chi would be another option. I’m hesitant to ask people for fees. This time I asked openly and student left.
18:45 Wednesday 7th June 2017
When I was young, before my teenage, I used to play cricket. Later at my 18 when I started theatre, I came to know that good games are not to win or lose. Games are also not for just entertainment but it’s to help one to develop personality, team spirit, to make social, to keep physically and mentally healthy. Theatre Games are like that. Since then I never been interested in cricket or that kind of other games. I prefer theatre games more.
In cricket or football or other games which are played to win, are seen as war. Theese kind of sports are not good for human society. I see, two teams are there. 11 players from India and other 11 from Pakistan. TV media project and advertise it as it’s war between India and Pakistan. Team playing from India is not India. People playing from Pakistan are Pakistani but they are not Pakistan. Audience are kept fool using their emotions. People of both nations watch cricket match as its matter of their national pride. Peace and Calmness of mind are destroyed this way.
I believe, the team plays well, wins. Simple. We should take it just sport not a war.
On other hand – it seems good that people has replaced war with sports, ..ok, but both of the nations should take cricket as normal sport, that some young players are playing for their entertainment, rest of us no need to be worried for any of these teams. Winning of Indian or Pakistani team is not defeat or matter of shame for India or Pakistan.
..but, they know how to cash our hate for each other. They know how to play with our emotions. Hockey or football is not so popular so they use cricket because most of population like cricket. So they project sports as war.
If we understand their game of hate, all such types of games will be stopped.
Theatre teach no hate. Theatre teach real team spirit, cooperation, trust on self and others, theatre helps to nourish love and respect for everyone. Theatre doesn’t make Indian or Pakistani, it makes broad minded good person with open heart.
12:45 p.m. Tuesday 6th June 2017
It was 2nd day of an event today I was in Renaissance Hotel. The mobile company had an event to promote its local dealers of different cities of India. What was my part in that?
I was called from a friend to work as promoter. Actually, this ‘promoter’ word is modern name of Occasional Labour for events. These event companies need men power so they hire college goers, jobless people, etc. to make their event successful. It’s good for college goers, they earn their pocket-money.
The company, I was working for, sent three entertainers whose job was to entertain people with teaching them playing instruments.
My work yesterday and today was to to put instruments on right place, then encourage people to follow instructions of entertainer, and finally to put all instruments in box. We were 9 boys yesterday and 6 boys today. These all were actors but for money they also were doing this work. Many other struggling actors, actresses also do so. Some girls there in short dresses were there for nothing but to make guests feel good in dinner time. It was fully Labourers’ job, just difference is, here these Labourers speak English.
I have done this before with same company. They found me not good for them. I also feel I’m not good for these kind of work. They rarely call me for events.
I wish to be Tai Chi entertainer who teaches Tai Chi rather than teaching instruments. That would be a better work than working as Labourer.
Payment will be done by online, they said. I’m too backward in technologies too. I still need liquid money because I don’t have credit-cards, I use 2G network which is not good for using Applications on phone.
World has entirely changed. Way of doing, work, internet, teaching, ..everything has been changed. Who does these changes? They are planners, gamers, businessmen, industrialists,.. people are consumers, customers, for them. I’m fit neither in their definitions of workers nor leaders’.
I should be living somewhere in Himalaya or in deep jungles (joking).
22:33 Friday 28th April 2017
Wo – You want me to fry fish on my palm in one year of practice of Tai Chi?
Ta – Is that possible?
Wo – I don’t know. Someone said it’s possible. Someone did it, they say.
Ta – How long it will take to have such power in your hands?
Wo – I don’t know. I even don’t know it’s possible.
Ta – You said it’s possible.
Wo – Someone said, I didn’t.
Ta – What is benefit of learning Tai Chi then?
Wo – Learning Tai Chi itself is a benefit. It’s an achievement itself. I don’t do Tai Chi for getting benefits.
Ta – It’s foolish to practice Tai Chi if it has no benefits. You are stupid.
Wo – For it’s health, physical and mental benefits, do Google yourself. And don’t get be greedy about it’s miraculous supernatural achievements.
Ta – What kind of supernatural achievements?
Wo – All depends on practices.
Ta – When will have those powers? Can you beat someone from four feet distance?
Wo – Answer for first question – I don’t know.
Answer for second question – No.
21:16 Friday 31st March 2017
Try to see what is happening inside.
Television channels are busy praising current CM of Uttar Pradesh who belongs to Nath Sect of Shaiva Religion.
Jaina and Buddhism were the most strongest in ancient south Asian subcontinent, then, Shaiva and Shakt became one to oppose Vaishnavas and Vedics. Social and philosophical conflict was obvious between Vaishnava & Shaiva. According to some historians, Shashank, a king of Gaud kingdom, current Assam, Bengal and Bihar, had ruined 84 Buddhist Monasteries. Kulottung-II or Kulottung-III used to hate Vaishnava so much that he got thrown Vishnu’s statue in ocean. Emperor Harsha was also influenced by Shaivas as it was his secondary faith after Buddhism. Well, Shaiva was successful to win hearts of commoners as well and so many saints like Lakulish were popular among people especially in south Indian region.
If one studies faiths and beliefs of this south Asian subcontinent, he will understand that ‘Hindu’ words has been used by Brahmins to bring all faiths under one name, to organize people against Christianity in British India. They couldn’t organize people as Hindu against Islamic Rulers because that time this subcontinent was divided in many sovereign kingdoms. Persians could never been a threat for Brahminic system but still in ancient time all outsiders and intruders were ‘Mlechchha’ or ‘Untouchable, Lower’ people.
This is a conspiracy still being played by clever Religious thugs who cleverly use the term for political purpose. Politically people of India are Indians and not Hindustani. They claim all Hindustanis are Hindu!? This conspiracy proved unsuccessful when its comes for Jaina and Buddhism. Dr. Ambedkar had great wisdom that he could understand the conspiracy. I see the Mass Conversion of 1956 not only an escape for lower castes from Brahminic social illness but a revenge from Brahminic hierarchy.
If one is aware about philosophy, history and conflicts of social-cultural-groups, he could easily understand the conspiracy by Brahmins have been being played with innocence people following other faiths in South Asian Subcontinent.
These all happens inside after collecting informations from outside. Tv news channels are not trustworthy. They are not voice of people.
02:05 am Monday, 27th March 2017
Omg! You are still unmarried?
It’s not so shocking, I think.
Ok, but when are you going to get married?
Why are you so worried about me?
Well, it depends on me and my circumstances. And nobody has to be worried about it. My sexual life, my religious & spiritual faith, my political ideologies are my personal matter. If anyone or anything from outside comes to know it and I’m reluctant, then I can be violent and I will have no repentance for that.
I think it’s not so personal. Everyone shows their spiritual or religious faith in public.
I think different then. Simple!
What’s problem to talk about ..these your personal matters?
It’s an encroachment in my personal life! We can talk about other things like, how same words have different meanings, how jataka tales have not been so popular etc.
What’s use of that.. of talking about these things?
Maybe no use. But if you want to talk to me, please don’t entrench into my very individual matters.
Then communication is impossible with you.
We are communicating already, you see? We are sharing our views and this is how we may know each other. It’s good.
Ok I came to know what you think over something, you now know about my thinking.. then what?
It’s useless to know what someone is saying. Important is to know how one is thinking. This is how you may know who is who. Our words are fake. Our words are not true most of the time. Words are sometimes about “what we think or want” and then also it’s not true. “How we think or want” is real. Most of Hindus want Muslims get out if India but their words don’t express their real feelings. They have to tolerate Muslims in India and so their words come out showing religious harmony. If the harmony would be real, there would be No Caste System in India.
12:45 pm Monday 6th March 2017