Emptiness Gets Disturbed

Today, in Infinity Mall, I was sitting before leaving for auditions. After having a look on Whatsapp, to see if there are more audition updates, I kept my phone in pocket and started meditating. Meditation was the one I was taught in Fotang. There were not much people and it was very peaceful today in Infinity Mall. After few minutes of meditation, a person sitting on my left, touched on my left shoulder. I looked at him. He was chewing something so didn’t say anything but turned his hand in manner to ask me ‘Why, what happened?’ I said ‘What?’ He showed his two fingers from his eyes to the floor yo ask me as ‘Why/what I was looking at floor?’ I said, ‘Nothing, nothing.’ He then stood up, spit in dustbin, sat back on same place.
I got disturbed, I started looking people and then after few minutes I left the place. I was not angry in him.
When I got disturbed, I was in state of constant stillness. I was very much aware and sensitive about the floor and almost 6-7 feet environment around me. I was in that condition constantly for more than three minutes, I guess, though I did not check time. When I was about to be disturbed, I was aware about the poke. Time between the poke and my Knowing was maybe though less than one second but I knew it. It was an achievement. And so, when I was leaving, I was not angry but with the feeling of achievement that in meditating state, I become a magnet. I also knew today, why people used to go to Himalaya or jungle, far from human society, to do Sadhna and meditation practices.
In this time, if one is sitting quietly, at peace, is considered having some problem. Normal person of this age, if he is alone, must be busy on his mobile, checking posts on Facebook, Whatsapp, or other social sites. If you are meditating at public place, sitting normally not in padmasana, still you catch attention of others and you will be disturbed. People are filled with emotions and thoughts. If their mind find you practicing Emptiness, they drain towards you.
20:00 Saturday 1st June 2017

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Write For Self

Copy-Paste is not satisfactory.

It’s on Whatsapp and Facebook that people do much copy-paste, forwarding and sharing someone’s post in other groups or their walls.
Copy-paste, forwarding and sharing are not good for one who wants to empty himself. Here it’s my space, here I write for myself. I am here far from the population which are busy following, commenting, criticizing and fighting with each others on social sites. I wonder why people take Twitter posts so seriously and the foolish is – newspapers make news on Twitter posts.
Writing is a tool for them who want to read their mind. It helps to know what and how is in one’s mind – condition is – to write honestly. When writing is not to impress anything anyone or criticize or praising others, its for self. To examine yourself. To see how one’s thoughts has been being changed. How emotions works inside.
One who writes for himself, is actually emptying himself. It’s dumping your thoughts and emotions outside somewhere. If it’s on Facebook, it creates dissatisfaction and unhappiness inside. It may disturb relationship also.
13:25 Sunday 25th June 2017

Theatre Games Are Better Than Other Sports!

When I was young, before my teenage, I used to play cricket. Later at my 18 when I started theatre, I came to know that good games are not to win or lose. Games are also not for just entertainment but it’s to help one to develop personality, team spirit, to make social, to keep physically and mentally healthy. Theatre Games are like that. Since then I never been interested in cricket or that kind of other games. I prefer theatre games more.
In cricket or football or other games which are played to win, are seen as war. Theese kind of sports are not good for human society. I see, two teams are there. 11 players from India and other 11 from Pakistan. TV media project and advertise it as it’s war between India and Pakistan. Team playing from India is not India. People playing from Pakistan are Pakistani but they are not Pakistan. Audience are kept fool using their emotions. People of both nations watch cricket match as its matter of their national pride. Peace and Calmness of mind are destroyed this way. 
I believe, the team plays well, wins. Simple. We should take it just sport not a war. 

On other hand – it seems good that people has replaced war with sports, ..ok, but both of the nations should take cricket as normal sport, that some young players are playing for their entertainment, rest of us no need to be worried for any of these teams. Winning of Indian or Pakistani team is not defeat or matter of shame for India or Pakistan.
..but, they know how to cash our hate for each other. They know how to play with our emotions. Hockey or football is not so popular so they use cricket because most of population like cricket. So they project sports as war.
If we understand their game of hate, all such types of games will be stopped. 
Theatre teach no hate. Theatre teach real team spirit, cooperation, trust on self and others, theatre helps to nourish love and respect for everyone. Theatre doesn’t make Indian or Pakistani, it makes broad minded good person with open heart.
12:45 p.m. Tuesday 6th June 2017

Buddha Rejected Brahminism!

Buddha, after centuries, has been accepted as incarnation of Vishnu by Vaishnavas, but the facts are –
Buddha rejected Brahminism.

Hindu people don’t celebrate Buddha Jayanti.

Hindu people don’t accept Buddha as their teacher.

Hindu people never greet me Buddha Purnima or on other Buddhist festivals.

Hindu people are not aware about their – philosophies and different schools. 

Hindu people do not study well about their religion.
It’s true – that Hinduism what we have been introduced is actually a mixture of many different philosophies and faiths which are against to each other. Shaiva, Shaakta, Nyaya, Vaisheshika, Vedaantika, Yoga, Charwaka, all had been criticizing to each other.
Hinduism have been being propagated after independence of India is actually Brahmanism and it declares Brahmins above all in hierarchy, rest all are lower than Brahmins. Nobody can be Brahmin through efforts otherwise Dr. Ambedkar, Phule, would be considered Brahmins. Leave examples of Vishwamitra or Annie Basent. They are exceptional cases. Practical contemporary Hinduism is actually Brahmanism and rest of people must detach themselves from it – if they are aware of their self-respect. 
I never criticize Hinduism. It doesn’t exist. What exists behind ‘Hinduism’ is “Brahminism.” It would be good for all Non-Brahmins to leave Brahminism and their rituals, their deities, festivals, and find out their real spiritual faith by themselves, otherwise, despite Indian constitution, their generations will remain getting insulated forever!!
23:28 Wednesday 24th May 2017

Marxist Kumar

I think, same like Ambedkar and Lohia, India is not a proper place to apply Marxism in its original way. Ambedkar was though against Marxism, Lohia wanted it to modify according to Indian social problems.
Its true that Marxism is an outside thought which is not 100% applicable in this south Asian subcontinent. Our society is divided and categorized into many levels and castes. Each caste is lower than many castes and above too. The lowest categories of caste are not enough strong to rebel against upper castes. Marxism talks about economic society but here a financially strong person from lower caste is a victim of social discrimination. Dalits from Saharanpur are politically and socially poor but they are not beggars. They have sense of self-respect and this is what they’re fighting for. Dalits want social equality not to be above than upper castes. Here Marxism can not help them. In Jabalpur, 2006-07, I heard someone saying – ‘I’m Brahmins, how could I chew tobacco made by him? He is Rajput and I’m Brahmin.’ — two Labourers on same financial financial status but from different castes are not one for their rights. Marxism fails here.
They talk about science, scientific laws are same everywhere, ok, but when it comes on casteism, scientific laws can be seen crying to seek space. Casteism is though a social evil of Hindus and Hinduism but it has contaminated all people of south Asian subcontinent. Marxists never try to remove casteism of their own. I see many marxists using surnames with their names and getting married within same castes only. Marxists have no daring to go out and reject Casteism in their practical personal life. Marxism fails here too.
I like Marxism because it’s good for everyone, to make financially equal society if there is no casteism. Until, casteism is removed, Marxism will remain just an ideology for sophisticated people doing mental exercise in small gatherings.
10:23 a.m. Friday 19th May 2017

10-15 May 2017

I had been so busy these days that I could not write any posts here. Two eye-catching incidents happened recently –

Riots in Saharanpur, started on 5th of May 2017

Mother’s Day on 14th of May
Recently I have come to know about Bhim Army or Bhim Sena in Saharanpur which has emerged as a social organization to help Dalits of Northern Indian Region. It’s has no outside political or financial support. Dalits still have to face insults in their daily life. Some other people of Valmiki community has threatened to be Muslims if they are not treated respectfully by other Hindus. Bhim Army is an organization which Dalits really needed against Hindu extremists, Bhagwa Terrorism and Upper Caste Hindus.
All media is their. Saharanpur is burning, news is there on Google, in newspapers, but TV NEWS is busy praising Modi and Yogi. If it’s no report related to Modi and Yogi, it starts provoking feelings against Pakistan. They woke up last time for  Dalits of Una after three weeks, I don’t know when these TVnews channels, Modi and Yogi will wake up for Dalits of Saharanpur!
It was Mother’s Day yesterday. I had celebrated the day with a small cute Tao community. My performance was not good but I enjoyed rest of programs by others. The celebration was better than last year celebration of mother’s day.

It’s again proved that Amit and Me can’t present a good performance. My superstition is still there. The speech of DCH supported my thinking that heaven and hell are nothing but state of mind, she said that in her encouragement to us.
Today, with no fix plan I left for auditions. In 128 part-1, I was said Fit, later I was said Not Fit. I came back to home. Met some friends in evening but I was sad, could not talk much.
23:09 Monday 15th May 2017

Sheep’s Opinions About Wolf!

People are sad to think about others,

‘Why did/do they say about me that?’
Ok.
Answer is – ‘It’s because of their limited understanding, conditioned mind, narrow mindedness. So they cannot analyse properly all the things, and thus you see them saying wrong about you.’
Answer seems simple but it’s not applicable for many people.
If someone says wrong about me, I examin first –

Is that good for me?

Is that bad for me?
Someone says – ‘Shekhar is a fine Actor!’

Maybe it’s wrong but good for me.

Someone says – ‘Shekhar is worst Actor!’

Maybe it’s true but not good for me.
Someone says what is all because of his mind, his circumstances, his thinking, his mood, his intention, etc. It doesn’t change me. If I’m stupid, great marks on my university certificates can’t change me. Same way, if I’m good, someone’s wrong word/action cannot change me.

Still, this is one of reasons for sadness that is suffering.
I, need to examine.

What people are saying about me is right, or wrong?

What they are thinking about me, and how is my image in their minds – I cannot know. What I know is just assumption what others are thinking about me.

So, in that case, even my mind gets stuck with opinions which are not based on facts.
If, people are saying about me is right, if I really have something to be fixed in, I must do it. And I must be thankful to to people for letting me know what is wrong in me. If they are wrong, then it’s ok. I must not be worried about their opinions. Now, after centuries, we came to know that Aurangzeb, Mohd Bin Tughlaque, were great and nice emperors. People are free to speak, it’s their right and they should use it.

20:53 Saturday 15th April 2017