What one knows and what all informations one has, proves useless when the time comes. One acts and behaves according to his instinct, that is inner personality one gets developed through his environment, society, family, incidents happened with him, conclusions, teachings, opinions, ..somewhat impressions of memories by previous experiences.
Few days ago I was sitting in infinity, reading ‘The Secret Of The Golden Flower,’ a girl with mic approached to me, one cameraman and another girl also was with her, she was asking some people if they know about GST. When she asked the person beside me, he could not answer her with little embarrassment. She came near to me and asked ‘excuse me, do you know about GST?’ I was reading the book and her question was a disturbing for me, I said ‘I am reading something and I am not willing to talk this time.’ She left.
At least I could have replied the full form of GST, or would have replied something funny but happened what? I left her with an arrogant image of mine in her mind and their camera.
Few days ago the person disturbed my secret meditation, also a realisation that I am not open to people and I use arrogance, egoist mask to prevent myself from society.
— The inner is like that.
They believe, instinct too can be created.
I am not sure.
A young boy around his 17, student of 11 or 12 class, had completed Shramner Shivir already, killed two kids and their mother. It was ‘triple murder case’ of Sarekha-Kosmi in 2008 or 2010. The murderer boy then informed to police and after one week he shifted in another house in front of my home in Kosmi. His inner made him to kill his landlord lady and her two kids. He was cleverer than professional murderers and I don’t think he learned it from professionals.
The inner is Mysterious One. All emotions and thoughts come from it and it’s only makes one react on outside world. How it works, how it makes equations with outer world, is a mystery for me. I feel a kind of irritation to see reports provoking extreme nationalism or spreading hate against neighbouring nations on TV news channels.
It’s not so simple. Or it maybe that simple, I cannot understand.
20:16 Wednesday 5th July 2017
“When three people walk together, my Teacher is among them.” One who has three treasures can know the meaning of it. This is just an example of knowing hidden secrets lying in simple words.
Recently I have finished ‘The Secret Of The Golden Flower’ and it was not knowing anything new. All I was reading was just verification of what I knew already. I understand 100 days, Yellow Lady, Flower, Sitting, The Pill, ..but one thing is there – I just have the guessing not true experience of that book. I have experiences of my meditation practices not of described in that book.
Today, after few months, when I saw this quote of Confucius, a kind of happiness suddenly emerged in me and I was smiling. Same happiness I had when I was reading ‘The Secret Of The Golden Flower.’ It was the happiness of Knowing – that ‘I knew’ – It is not proud or ego on myself that – ‘I knew.’
I am thankful to my friends who helped to got me three treasures. I respect the Master, but I am more thankful to friends. I know the ‘Buddha sitting on the Lotus.’
21:03 Tuesday 4th July 2017
Today, in Infinity Mall, I was sitting before leaving for auditions. After having a look on Whatsapp, to see if there are more audition updates, I kept my phone in pocket and started meditating. Meditation was the one I was taught in Fotang. There were not much people and it was very peaceful today in Infinity Mall. After few minutes of meditation, a person sitting on my left, touched on my left shoulder. I looked at him. He was chewing something so didn’t say anything but turned his hand in manner to ask me ‘Why, what happened?’ I said ‘What?’ He showed his two fingers from his eyes to the floor yo ask me as ‘Why/what I was looking at floor?’ I said, ‘Nothing, nothing.’ He then stood up, spit in dustbin, sat back on same place.
I got disturbed, I started looking people and then after few minutes I left the place. I was not angry in him.
When I got disturbed, I was in state of constant stillness. I was very much aware and sensitive about the floor and almost 6-7 feet environment around me. I was in that condition constantly for more than three minutes, I guess, though I did not check time. When I was about to be disturbed, I was aware about the poke. Time between the poke and my Knowing was maybe though less than one second but I knew it. It was an achievement. And so, when I was leaving, I was not angry but with the feeling of achievement that in meditating state, I become a magnet. I also knew today, why people used to go to Himalaya or jungle, far from human society, to do Sadhna and meditation practices.
In this time, if one is sitting quietly, at peace, is considered having some problem. Normal person of this age, if he is alone, must be busy on his mobile, checking posts on Facebook, Whatsapp, or other social sites. If you are meditating at public place, sitting normally not in padmasana, still you catch attention of others and you will be disturbed. People are filled with emotions and thoughts. If their mind find you practicing Emptiness, they drain towards you.
20:00 Saturday 1st June 2017
Dhamma is always with me.
It was with me before I came here. It was with me when I was born. It is still with me and it will be with me even when I am leaving.
They say –
‘You came here empty hands and you will go with empty hands’
Is true for them who see the Results.
The True and more important is
the Cause, the Source of Results.
They, who know the Way, know,
Dhamma is always there.
I was in Dhamma before I came here. I was in Dhamma when I was born. I remain in Dhamma and Dhamma will be there with me even when I am leaving to Dhamma.
I Know The Way 🙂
04:31 am Saturday 1st July 2017
Master showed us a small chalk, less than one inch long, and asked, ‘Is it small?’
Then he showed a little longer chalk compared to the previous one, almost one and a half inches long, and asked, ‘Is it also the small?’
‘No. It’s bigger’ people say.
‘Actually, both chalks are in or with their length. They are not competitors to prove themselves smaller or bigger than the other. It’s our mind which is comparing them’ I said.
I am also not in any competition or race. I am not to defeat anyone. I compare things in far-near, black-white, wheatish-brown.. to use common sense not to look-down anyone, anything. When I am compared with people – they are rich, they have bought their homes, they have cars.. – I am put into the race in which I never wanted to be. I don’t compare that – do they know Tai Chi? They did theatre? They know meditation skils? ..but yes, money, which was a medium to ease exchange things but has become main cause for all kinds of Evils, is necessary. And I am not good to have it.
Both of the chalks never even have the idea what human beings were talking about them. Chalks do not have consciousness, life.
We human beings are cursed to have comparing mind.
22:29 Thursday 22nd June 2017
Smile on face
Everything turn to be fear if suddenly
A lizard falls on your chest, or
You found a cockroach inside your pants
..all teachings of Buddhas becomes useless! No mythological deities come to help you.
You are sleeping on floor,
You wake up and see everything is peaceful in your room,
You look at everything to appreciate each stuff there
And you see a black, two feet long snake crawling slowly along a wall with no intention to harm you,
You are still at fear.
Our teachings are not true!
We are taught to entertain us.
All religious gurus entertain our mind. People go there to listen them to fulfil their desires of being like spiritual. Mind feels peace, religious (not spiritual), and some kind of holiness we are provided in some places, and we spend our time for these entertainment in all levels.
We don’t want to be educated in real. All we want entertainment.
To know self, one does not need to go to any spiritual or religious guru. Of course one has to learn some techniques, skills from teachers. Gurus are either entertainer or egoist people willing to make disciples, followers to fulfil their hidden pride. They teach nothing.
A normal person without any spiritual knowledge, has never went through any religious books, may or maynot be knowing scientific processes, but deals successfully with situations like a lizard falls on him, or he sees a snake in front of him, is appreciable.
00:35 Thursday 22nd June 2017