Suggestion for Youngers

Deepak Rao, my friend from Allahabad, called me yesterday. After formal questions he asked me if his cousin would come to Mumbai to make his career in acting? His phone was on loudspeaker. I suggested him not to send his cousin here for acting. I gave him my example, with no rupee balance in phone, wandering in Aram Nagar, Four Bungalows in Andheri West. One TVC ad, two digital ads, some episodic tv shows and just finished. Okay, everyone here is not like me. I also suggested that if his cousin is determined to come here, send him with time limits, and with enough financial backups too. Here trend has been changed. Everyone needs six-pack-abs, tall, fair, model looking heroic personality. Ok some exceptions are always everywhere but, I suggested to Deepak, if he watch TV artists, they all are rich looking, upmarket people. Mostly rich look is in requirements, average looking actors are rare who get continuity lead characters in TV. Of course, I am not talking about Marathi TV. They are much better than us.
Everyone has different experiences, different approach to observe their experience too, so their opinions are also different on same point. I would never suggest youngers to come in Mumbai for acting if they belong to poor or average financial backgrounds.
I didn’t talk to Deepak’s cousin. I think he would not listen me.
12:05 pm Friday 7th July 2017

Willing To Go Far!

​Let me leave this place once and I wish, I will never need to contact them.

I don’t need them.

I don’t want to be humiliated every now.
I’m not to prove anything to anyone.

I’m at my space and if they cannot understand me, how can they humiliate my personality?
I’m fed up of these people!

I just want cut my relations with them. 

Na, blood relationships are fake!

And everyone here is on their way and pace 

– but they cannot understand that.
If these reasons are not be taken as excuses 

– I’m here because I was not allowed to go out when I wanted to fly.

I was courageous enough

but forcefully I was kept in a cage.
What happened then? 

Result is I’m here.
Okay, my financial social conditions are not good 

And I can’t say it would be better if I could go forward with my plan,

But at least, I would not be here

With these superstitious, political crazy, close minded people!
I’m not happy!
Small plant cannot grow up

To become a tree

Under another tree.

How can the plant get chance to grow??
I never want even to see them anymore

But circumstances are with them. 

Politically, Socially, Economically they are strong!

And what is me? Nothing!
saying –

“When you are in a deep shit, keep quiet” 

And this would be last year of my difficulties and problems.
Being with people we don’t like and not being with people we like is also one of causes for suffering.
Circumstances are not with me.

I try not to be overwhelmed with feelings. 

I’m not influenced by words, books, people, teachings..

I keep myself pure.
Just I need to stay away

Far from these people

And and I wish,

I will overcome very soon.
22:23 Saturday 25th March 2017

After Hindwere Web Ad Shoot

​So the shoot was done. It was for Hindwere and my character was of again, Charlie Chaplin. I’m not happy because I need recognition, fame, popularity also with prosperity. As Charlie Chaplin, who knows me? Some friends and nearest people only. It’s not me what will be on screen, it will be Charlie Chaplin. I need my recognition. 
It is first ad shoot of the director. I think I have irritated him much with mire than 20 takes. He didn’t express the irritation but what I was feeling on floor was a little embarrassed. I have filled the bill and the production man said me to wait for the cheque. I’m waiting, in makeup room.
It was the shoot I did after May, the short film I did. Another short film I was doing is still incomplete.
Work is needed –

For money

For survival as an artist
If an artist is not working, he is not an artist anymore. So actors keep themselves busy in theatre. Other actors either come from financially well families or they have to do other works to earn money for survival. I also would have to do other works if I would not be living with family. And if I have to leave family, I don’t know what I would do. Either I would be a monk or if sangha doesn’t accept me as monk, I would start roaming as self claimed monk of Tao. Navyana Buddhism and Jaina philosophy, both attract me equally and same with Tao.

I feel, I accept I’m not an actor. I never decided to make this as profession. I wanted to be an IAS and theatre would always have been my hobby. But I couldn’t crack the exam and this was another option for me.
Acting is not a full time job. It requires full time dedication and 100% efforts but never assures to give full time employment. Nevertheless, it’s for honest people and an actor has to honest for his work.
19:00 Wednesday 2nd October 2016