Singing Is Good

Happiness makes you sing, and same with sadness too, even when you are angry, you can sing sometimes but depressed person does not sing. Singing is miraculous – it nourishes hope.
When I started theatre in 1999-2000, we used to sing JanaGeet in Samvet. We had only small book of JanaGeet and most of us had mugged up all songs. With or sometimes without dholak it was the best time of my school days. Samvet was dismantled soon and all seniors joined to Natya Kala Parishad, I was the only artist who joined Nutan Kala Niketan of that team. There, in Niketan, trend was different. They used to sing Folk songs and I found me not interested in that. I was from group with Communist ideology and here folk songs seemed to me of backward people. It took me a long time to realize that I was wrong.
I am not good at singing. Sometimes in Fotang, when I am asked to sing, I do, and them I feel a combination of embarrassment and happiness, both.
05:15 am Saturday 1st July 2017


Write For Self

Copy-Paste is not satisfactory.

It’s on Whatsapp and Facebook that people do much copy-paste, forwarding and sharing someone’s post in other groups or their walls.
Copy-paste, forwarding and sharing are not good for one who wants to empty himself. Here it’s my space, here I write for myself. I am here far from the population which are busy following, commenting, criticizing and fighting with each others on social sites. I wonder why people take Twitter posts so seriously and the foolish is – newspapers make news on Twitter posts.
Writing is a tool for them who want to read their mind. It helps to know what and how is in one’s mind – condition is – to write honestly. When writing is not to impress anything anyone or criticize or praising others, its for self. To examine yourself. To see how one’s thoughts has been being changed. How emotions works inside.
One who writes for himself, is actually emptying himself. It’s dumping your thoughts and emotions outside somewhere. If it’s on Facebook, it creates dissatisfaction and unhappiness inside. It may disturb relationship also.
13:25 Sunday 25th June 2017

Dhamma : Not a Religion

Buddha says – Do not waste time and energy to search for Ishwar or Brahma. There is nobody to come from the sky and help you.
You cannot go against Ishwar in religion. You cannot disdain holy books. If you use your intellect which goes against religious books, you are criticized. Dhamma teaches you to think, doubt, go against it to examine, and believe only if you find something is right.
Religion teaches to have Faith in someone imaginary who comes to help you when it’s needed. Dhamma teaches Atta Deep Bhava – become your light yourself.
Buddha says – I do not give you Nirvana, Moksha, Salvation, Freedom from suffering. I just show you the way. Dhamma is a humanitarian way to live a peaceful life.
Many of us, who believe that Dhamma and Religion are the same, need to analyse carefully. Religion has to be accepted, to get into it, with rituals, while Dhamma educates one to to find or create his own way. Religion believes in many illogical existences like ghosts, satan, ishwar, soul, atma, rooh, deities, while Dhamma is logical and based on science. Dhamma promotes scientific analytical way to think, doubt and examine before believe in something.
Religion teaches social inequality, discriminations, while in Dhamma, everyone is equal. Dhamma is the education, knowledge which is available to everyone. You find something imaginary person in religion or someone who unsuccessfully tries to prove himself as a representative of that imaginary one, but there is nobody who claims to be doot or only representative of someone imaginary. In Dhamma you see a series of enlightened people who never claim to be Ishwar, or his representatives. They all were human being with great and purr wisdom.
Buddha says :- ‘Buddha’ is the state of highest and purest consciousness when you are balanced, in eternal peace, love and happiness, beyond of all fear and sufferings. They who reach on that level but rejects to achieve Nirvana for people, are Bodhisattwas. Dr. Ambedkar also is considered a Bodhisattwa in that sense He was an Angel who showed a better way to people of India.
Religion is irresistible while in Dhamma you are totally free. Dhamma never forces you to do or not do, believe or not believe in something. Everyone is free to use his intellect with Prabuddha Way.
23:12 Wednesday 17th May 2017

Stupid Monk Is Better Than Smart Politicians or Successful Businessmen 

​Life of monk is better than any other person on earth!

He is in peace, Inside and Outside too. He is what he is. He is fearless, carefree, courageous, ..with love in his heart. He is always purifying himself but not to prove anything to anyone. It’s all for himself. All doctors, teachers, everyone who is in service sector must be monks – not necessary to be belonging or adhering to any particular religion. It would be better if monks are nonreligious people. It is what they should be. Those who call themselves Saint in India are actually Gangs of Fake people exploiting public through Faith and Fake names of Deities. I wish, I could be a monk. I wanted to be a monk. I wish I would die as a monk. If I would be a monk following any philosophy, then the philosophy would be either Jaina or Buddhist or of course, Daoist. Taoist philosophy is the philosophy I’m attracted to nowadays. It doesn’t mean I will be a Taoist. I’m not Buddhist too in that way. I like those philosophies. If I’m offered opportunity to be a Taoist Monk, I wish I would accept that with courage. It would not be any betrayal against Dr. Ambedkar – I’m and I will be thankful to him for all what he did for people of India. He himself had been a monk for a short time maybe as Shraamner I’m not sure. I’m unable to survive in this world. Casting people say me Not-Fit for their requirements but actually I’m not fit for entire the system. I don’t say the system is bad or me. We are just not for each other. I think as a monk one is not responsible to the system. A monk is one who becomes the nature. I know I can be the same nature again I was. I can be free from impacts of emotions. I can observe every single part of the chain of thoughts. I can be simplest, honest and most stupid person. I’m not smart and I never want to be. I can remain that stupid fool forever my life and that would be best for me. I don’t need to be political-businessman mind. I wish I could be a monk, a real monk unlike religious dhongi gurus. I just afraid to be labelled as escapee. Yeah I want to avoid this useless unnecessary struggle for surviving day after another. Life becomes a burden when one is not enjoying it. Enjoying life is when kne is doing or being what he actually is in his inside. Being happy is something having the same outer what we have inside. Both inside and outside become same and there is fulfilment. It’s not a game. It’s not joke. It’s what everyone is looking for. 
22:55 Wednesday 11th January 2017

Outside Is Danger! Inside Is Peaceful ♡

​Outside world is different and dangerous!

The world inside me is more peaceful, kind, thoughtful, aware. Happiness inside is more than outside. Those mediators who believe inside of human mind is full of sorrow and danger are either wrong or they themselves have black shade inside their minds. Their world maybe bad not others. For me, I don’t need organizations. Entire mankind is ok for me. Government is useless. Police is for them who need someone to stop them from doing wrong. I don’t do wrong, I don’t need police. I may need police only if it is to save good people from criminals. I’m not criminal. Government is for them who want to be governed by others. I’m not a sheep. I don’t need shepherd. They, who believe and practice “Live And Let Live” do not need government. Yes we need workers who should work for people, to serve society but of course they’re not politicians. Now political parties have become gangs of criminals. They work for themselves. I believe, if political persons are to serve people, they must not be richer than people. They should have authority to do something good for society but they must not be having power to rule over people. Let people live their lives according to their understandings.
21:20 Tuesday 10th January 2017

Sobbing Happiness


People say ‘be happy’.
They say ‘to be happy and happiness comes to you’.
…Causation theory works vis-a-vis, I know but worldly achievements matter for living beings. No fame, no money and cursed to pass the time till the end.

Days are getting passed. No achievements for years. Of course there are some spiritual experiences and achievements but people don’t see that. They value one by bank balance, cars, clothes.. I don’t have anything to show off. What I have is hidden, and useless to earn money.

It was raining today and I was in Dharma class that time. I came out in evening and suddenly felt low. My friend was going to somewhere and said she can’t meet me today.

I have almost left going for auditions. Most of auditions updates I receive are for either females or upmarket boys for which my look doesn’t go match. I face ‘not fit’ many times. I know they don’t unfit my talent but my look. Yes, I was fit for Charlie Chaplain character in Sharon ply’s TVC but it’s rarest case (miracle?).

They are working and I’m not there, I see. I’m here cursing the time and waiting.

They say,
— be patient and things will come to you
— if you wait for the right time, you’ll get what is left by others

People say contradictory words and one needs to have faith on himself for that. Faith on self is often misunderstood with self confidence. Only an atheist can know what is having faith on self.
What to choose and what is to wait for, is depending on self. Here taking desicion is important. Religion doesn’t help here. Sartre is true here. And so I refuse to obey and follow their opinions /suggestions.

They ask:
‘What are you doing? How is going on?’
Are they really worried about me or just formal inquiries?
Definitely, useless talking starts this way.
What to reply then?
Avoiding isn’t better?
….and- person is egoist/ introvert, reserved, closed, etc.

Waiting for what?
The miracle happened last year in June-July (2015). I’m not superstitious. Reasons and causes are always there but if I can’t see and result is there, that’s miracle for me. Something good but unexpected happens and I say the miracle happened.
I’m waiting for the miracle.
Yes. Miracle happens! Results are there, good and unexpected, we can’t see the causes every time.

5th of June,
Sun. 2016

Happiness Lost!


It’s simple:
Earn money and live happy, die happy!

What all one would listen from a man who is spending life with pennies?
Do they want me to sacrifice my lands to Brahmins in their Yajna?
Oh! I need to leave my kingdom and go into search for god!
I should utilise my treasures in charity.
No one must die starving in my kingdom.
It’s my duty to keep everyone happy in my land. Otherwise all gods and goddesses will curse me and my people!


I’m not a king!
I don’t belong to any kingdom, no kingdoms belong to me.
I don’t have money!
My father left me not with treasures and thus I can’t do charity.
I even can’t play cards because One; I generally don’t have so enough money, second; I don’t know playing cards!
People are homeless, hungry, starving to death, but that’s not my land and I’m not responsible for for that. And who knows if I will be homeless, hungry, starving to death someday?
Let all gods curse me if they really exist, if they really can curse and make me curse them back.
I will forgive goddesses if they curse me. I respect women more than men. They are goddesses so what, they are women and I’m not asking them either they exist or not. They deserve to be treated with respect. All goddesses are princess and queens.

Brahmins! Your yajnas are not working anymore. I don’t have lands and cows to give you. And last, I don’t believe in your pooja, yajna, and all rituals.

If I had a kingdom, I would do all which deserves to a kind. If I had a treasure filled with unlimited gold, diamonds, jewelleries, I would give a little to poor.
Do I need to say I would give all my money to poor people? Na it’s not practical. What if I’m being realistic in my imagination. It keeps me awake in even my dreams.

What all one would listen from a man who is spending life with pennies!
I will spend my life roaming around the world, having so many sexy and hot girlfriends, staying in five-star hotels, paying tips to waiters and watchmen?
I will change my expensive clothes everyday ans will never use any cloth twice. I will have at least seven cars for each days of week. A great bank balance, 3bhk flats in all metro cities, farm houses in north eastern regions, thousands of servants. List is not completed.

A kid can make money from a dead rat. Hafid can sell expensive blanket to needy poor couple, in cold night of winters, free. Hamid can buy chimta for her grandma. Siddharth can be ready to sacrifice gis life for deer.

One goes to jungle or mountains to find himself, he may not need money. Rest of people facing questions of others, are forced to be part of competition, to be defeated from someone, to defeat others, satisfying their little ego, till they reach to their ends.

I keep watching them not from mountains but from other planet. Then I have to be back again on earth, in this corner od the globe, and I find myself too, a rat-racer.

Mantra is simple but changed:
Earn money, live and die!
Happiness is missing my friend.