Emptiness Gets Disturbed

Today, in Infinity Mall, I was sitting before leaving for auditions. After having a look on Whatsapp, to see if there are more audition updates, I kept my phone in pocket and started meditating. Meditation was the one I was taught in Fotang. There were not much people and it was very peaceful today in Infinity Mall. After few minutes of meditation, a person sitting on my left, touched on my left shoulder. I looked at him. He was chewing something so didn’t say anything but turned his hand in manner to ask me ‘Why, what happened?’ I said ‘What?’ He showed his two fingers from his eyes to the floor yo ask me as ‘Why/what I was looking at floor?’ I said, ‘Nothing, nothing.’ He then stood up, spit in dustbin, sat back on same place.
I got disturbed, I started looking people and then after few minutes I left the place. I was not angry in him.
When I got disturbed, I was in state of constant stillness. I was very much aware and sensitive about the floor and almost 6-7 feet environment around me. I was in that condition constantly for more than three minutes, I guess, though I did not check time. When I was about to be disturbed, I was aware about the poke. Time between the poke and my Knowing was maybe though less than one second but I knew it. It was an achievement. And so, when I was leaving, I was not angry but with the feeling of achievement that in meditating state, I become a magnet. I also knew today, why people used to go to Himalaya or jungle, far from human society, to do Sadhna and meditation practices.
In this time, if one is sitting quietly, at peace, is considered having some problem. Normal person of this age, if he is alone, must be busy on his mobile, checking posts on Facebook, Whatsapp, or other social sites. If you are meditating at public place, sitting normally not in padmasana, still you catch attention of others and you will be disturbed. People are filled with emotions and thoughts. If their mind find you practicing Emptiness, they drain towards you.
20:00 Saturday 1st June 2017


Children To Learn Tai Chi 

Ta – When should I send my 3 years old son?
Wo – ….Where?
Ta – To learn Tai Chi.
Wo – When he is able to understand.
Ta – …His understanding is much better than you. Got it?
Wo – …if you wanted to humiliate me than it’s different thing but for your question, I have answered already.
Who would teach him Tai Chi?

Na, I would not.

I feel, children are difficult to teach Tai Chi. Their energy is uncontrollable and they are not focused if they are not interesting in something.
Parents don’t know what their children want to do or be. Parents wants their children to learn everything, painting, music, writing, dancing, acting, and later they want them to become doctors, engineers, civil servants. Parents are not father and mother. Parents are people who impose their unfulfilled desires on children and want children to do everything.
I think, children below 8-10 years are difficult to teach Tai Chi. If they are above 10 years and still not interested in learning, I would not like to drag them into Tai Chi.
A 15 years old boy was my student. He was in 11th standard. His father asked me to teach him Tai Chi. I found him not interested in learning. His father also used to practice with us so that his son would be encouraged but I saw no progress in the son. He used not to listen my words, his eyes were somewhere else when I was teaching him. Finally, I had to tell his father that his son is not interested and I could not spend my time on him.
Maybe, my processe or method of teaching is not good, it might be very boring but because I was not changing any fee, I could not spend time on someone not interested in learning.
Tai Chi is good if one feels the rhythm.
18:55 Wednesday 17th May 2017

After One Year Of Tai Chi 

Wo – You want me to fry fish on my palm in one year of practice of Tai Chi?
Ta – Is that possible?
Wo – I don’t know. Someone said it’s possible. Someone did it, they say.
Ta – How long it will take to have such power in your hands?
Wo – I don’t know. I even don’t know it’s possible.
Ta – You said it’s possible.
Wo – Someone said, I didn’t.
Ta – What is benefit of learning Tai Chi then?
Wo – Learning Tai Chi itself is a benefit. It’s an achievement itself. I don’t do Tai Chi for getting benefits.
Ta – It’s foolish to practice Tai Chi if it has no benefits. You are stupid.
Wo – For it’s health, physical and mental benefits, do Google yourself. And don’t get be greedy about it’s miraculous supernatural achievements.
Ta – What kind of supernatural achievements?
Wo – All depends on practices.
Ta – When will have those powers? Can you beat someone from four feet distance?
Wo – Answer for first question – I don’t know.

Answer for second question – No.
21:16 Friday 31st March 2017

Who Was That Old Indian Sage? 

​I had almost five days to practice Five Words but I could utilize only one night and it will be second night to practice. I didn’t have proper dinner, just a cup of black tea and a small bowl of Chiwda. 
Last night when I was practicing words, an Image of an old Sanyasi appeared in front of Holy Gate. The picture was a photo with yellowish shed and the Sanyasi was in white clothings, like Vedantis or Vinoba Bhave, his skin was black maybe because the photo was old but he was an Indian Sadhu and his look had much similarities with Robindranath Tagore or Sadguru like long white hair and white beards. I have never seen that Sanyasi or his picture anywhere. I have never been influenced by Robindranath Tagore and Sadguru. That Sage in photo appeared in front of my Holy Gate was not still but smiling and his right hand was in Abhay Mudra, like Buddha not other Saints.
At first, the picture was small and a little far, seems 6-7 feets from me. I tried to see that clearly and it was enlarged then seemed at 4-5 feets far from me, and for few seconds it seemed or maybe it was an hallucination that I saw the Sage in his late 50s sitting there before me. His body was still like statue, right hand in Abhay Mudara like Buddha’s hand, and he was smiling. I could see his smile only not eyes. Face was covered with long white beards and hairs.
Gradually it seemed again a large photo which became small and disappeared. I can remember a blurred unclear image of that in my mind.
It was around 01:15 to 01:30 am. midnight. It was Siddha Yoga according to Indian Panchang.
Let’s see what happens tonight.
22:52 Friday 24th March 2017

No Time For Self

“If you have time for Facebook, You have time to Meditate.”
— I read this quote yesterday on Facebook with Buddha’s photo, posted in a Facebook page propagating Buddhism. It has been echoing in my mind since yesterday – and because I didn’t go out today, I had been reading posts on Facebook and Whatsapp, and this is how I have wasted my day. Now is 00:14 am and I’m about to sleep. I know I may not sleep within minutes, and again my mind will take me somewhere in past, or in future, or it will be converting my desires into film inside.
I won’t be at present. They say — “If you are sad, you are in past. If you are anxious, you are worried about future. If you are in peace, you are at present.” Nice Quite, probably by Buddha, I don’t know properly.
Last morning I went to sleep again, and I was not actually sleeping. So I tried to watch what mind is trying to show me. I didn’t try to move those pictures, it was mind changing pictures one by one, and I was unsuccessfully trying to hold on each picture, and when I lost my consciousness I have forgot. When I wake up again, it was 13:30, noon.
Mind is so clever — I can say because of my own experience. Mind is harmful when it’s governed by emotions, which themselves are emerged by outer attractions. Here I can say — Budhananda’s book ‘Mann Aur Uska Nigrah’ was initially very helpful for me. Now I’m at least able to see what mind is willing about. I’m not governed by mind – 100% I’m not free from mind, but I’m aware a little, and so I know what mind tries me to think or wish about. But I don’t have control over my mind — I accept.

Still, there is something which keeps me run by mind – and Body functions according to instructions, — there I know, which instruction is coming out from where, but between instruction and act, I exist. This “I” is awareness, which lasts until the ‘act’ is done.

Then, — after the act, there is past with memory, with emotions begotten by the ‘act’.
If had a little control over my mind, I would not have wasted my day. I would have been praying, meditating, working, running for auditions, ..
00:45 Tuesday 25th October 2016

Floating In Air With Music 

Put a song on in your mobile phone
Must be the one you like most
Don’t use earphone or hands-free
Increase the volume on high
Put your phone in a safe place
From where you may listen the song clearly
Stand 5 – 9 feet far from your mobile
Close your eyes
And feel the music
Listen the words
And you will see yourself smiling
Don’t stop here
Breath the music
Let it flow with blood in your veins
It will make you jiggle
Let your body blow in the air
Don’t think about the form of the dance
Don’t dance
Leave your hands free to move
It’s what lies within you
Just rock with the music till the song ends
When the song ends
Will you let me know how do you feel?

14:00 Tuesday 

2nd of August 2016

सांस के आठ भाग

​सांस को आठ भागों में तोड़ कर देखना मुझे आता है

मगर यह किसके किस काम का?
ध्यान की बहुत सी विधियाँ पहले से ही प्रचलन में हैं

इस विधि से कौन सा नया चमत्कार हो जाएगा?
वो लुटेरा है जो 33% आंख झुका के सांस लेना सिखाता है

मुझे लूट करना नहीं आता ।
झूठ बोलते समय मेरी ज़ुबान लड़खड़ाने लगती है ।
जो आत्मविश्वासपूर्वक झूठ बोल जाता हो

वो सच्चा माना जाता है ।

यह आत्मविश्वास के प्रदर्शन का दुरुपयोग भी मुझे नहीं आता ।
मेरे पास ऐसा कोई कौशल या हुनर नहीं है

जिससे पैसा कमाया जा सके,

जिससे नाम बनाया जा सके ।
ऐसा नहीं है कि मुझे कुछ भी नहीं आता ।

असल में,

जो मुझे आता है उसका व्यावसायिक उपयोग करना मुझे नहीं आता ।
मेरी तो आंखों में दोष होगा

अपने आप बंद होने लगती है ।

मैं स्वाभाविक रूप से ध्यान में चला जाता हूं

इससे पैसा नहीं मिलता ।
भौतिकी के नियमानुसार कार्य वो है

जिसमें बाह्य आरोपित बल द्वारा

किसी पिण्ड के आकार स्थान या गति में परिवर्तन हो।
मानवीय समाज के अनुसार कार्य वो है

जिसके करने के पूर्व या पश्चात

उस कार्य के बदले पैसा मिले ।

जिस कार्य का आंकलन पैसे से नही होता

या जिस कार्य का पैसा नही मिलता

उसे बेगार कहा जाता है, कार्य नहीं ।
सेवा, बेगार का सफेद रंग है ।

जिम्मेदारी बेगार का पीला रंग है ।

बेगार का रंग काला है ।

काला और सफेद कोई रंग नहीं होते ।
शारीरिक श्रम तो लगता है

और तब तक लगता रहेगा जब तक शरीर है

‘पैसे से सब कुछ नहीं आंका जा सकता’

जबकि कदम कदम पे पैसा लग रहा है ।
गर्दन के पीछे दाईं ओर पेशी कुनमुना रही है ।

दाहिनी आंख तक दुख बह के आ रहा है ।

डकारें खाना खा लेने के बाद भी आती रहती है ।

तबियत की खराबी पैसे के अभाव से भी आती है ।
उसने इस्तीफा दे दिया क्योंकि पार्टी नहीं जमी

स्वास्थ्य ठीक है और पैसा भी भर के है ।

आत्मसम्मान की बात पेट भरने के बाद आती है ।

गरीब के पास इज्जत नहीं होती,

अमीर के पास पैसा होता है ।
सांस एक ही है, तो आठ भागों में तोड़ा क्यों?

21:08 (pm) Monday

25 July 2016