Mysterious Inner

What one knows and what all informations one has, proves useless when the time comes. One acts and behaves according to his instinct, that is inner personality one gets developed through his environment, society, family, incidents happened with him, conclusions, teachings, opinions, ..somewhat impressions of memories by previous experiences.
Few days ago I was sitting in infinity, reading ‘The Secret Of The Golden Flower,’ a girl with mic approached to me, one cameraman and another girl also was with her, she was asking some people if they know about GST. When she asked the person beside me, he could not answer her with little embarrassment. She came near to me and asked ‘excuse me, do you know about GST?’ I was reading the book and her question was a disturbing for me, I said ‘I am reading something and I am not willing to talk this time.’ She left.
At least I could have replied the full form of GST, or would have replied something funny but happened what? I left her with an arrogant image of mine in her mind and their camera.
Few days ago the person disturbed my secret meditation, also a realisation that I am not open to people and I use arrogance, egoist mask to prevent myself from society.

— The inner is like that.
They believe, instinct too can be created.

I am not sure.

A young boy around his 17, student of 11 or 12 class, had completed Shramner Shivir already, killed two kids and their mother. It was ‘triple murder case’ of Sarekha-Kosmi in 2008 or 2010. The murderer boy then informed to police and after one week he shifted in another house in front of my home in Kosmi. His inner made him to kill his landlord lady and her two kids. He was cleverer than professional murderers and I don’t think he learned it from professionals.
The inner is Mysterious One. All emotions and thoughts come from it and it’s only makes one react on outside world. How it works, how it makes equations with outer world, is a mystery for me. I feel a kind of irritation to see reports provoking extreme nationalism or spreading hate against neighbouring nations on TV news channels.
It’s not so simple. Or it maybe that simple, I cannot understand. 
20:16 Wednesday 5th July 2017

My Master!

I really feel, I’m far better than all those who are governed and moved by their emotions and thoughts, ..and I have got this after Knowing The Master.

Maybe, TaiChi also has some role in it.


Master is neither good nor bad, neither wise nor stupid, it’s my reflection.


When the Cherokee told the story of two wolves fighting inside, grandchild was curious to know about winning wolf. Grandfather preached The Master.


Angel and Satan sitting on shoulders maybe story for children. Master is always there.


No-one I see without Master.


I know, I Have Got The Way!


They may say, they brought me to the Master. Of course, without them I would not be introduced to The Master, but it was The Master itself who got me them too. I’m thankful to friends.


Master is not outside but always inside me. What I see outside is reflection of my Master.


19:28 Tuesday 6th June 2017

Knowing In Patches

Wo – Sariputta asked to Buddha, what should be his behaviour in front of women. Buddha said – “Don’t meet women.” Sariputta asked – “What if they come across?” Buddha replied – “Don’t see them.” Sariputta clarifies his question – “If they talk to me, then?” Buddha answered – “Reply them with mindfulness!”
This mindfulness is the same mentioned in Satipatthan, in each act, even in breathing, eating, when one urinets, 
Wo – ..even in sleeping, they say.
Ta – Is that possible? Sleeping with knowing?
Wo – I know knowing in patches that lasts for seconds to minutes.
Ta – And enlightened ones are those with mindfulness all time.
Wo – I think so.
Ta – You are influenced by Jiddu. You are jealous of Osho. You find similarities with UG.
Wo – Ok.
Ta – If you didn’t know to Jiddu, Osho, UG, you would be stealing thoughts from Buddha, Mahavira, Ajita, Makkali Ghoshal. Tell me if Osho hadn’t introduced Gurdgeff to you, you knew him?
Wo – Na. Osho was a knowing person. He had studied a lot.
Ta – Your talking doesn’t contain your words. Your way is actually way of Jiddu. You see, observe, analyse, things as Joddu does.
Wo – Ok.
Ta – What would you be without Jiddu?
Wo – I don’t know. You also don’t know, I think.
Ta – You should be yourself. You should find out your own way of thinking. You must practice for that. Stealing or adopting someone’s way will not make you en enlightened one.
Wo – Right.
Ta – What are you doing for that?
Wo – Do I need to do something for that?
Ta – If you want to be an enlightened one, that knowing, aware person.
Wo – Until one drops the ‘want,’ attachment is there.
Ta – Knowing is also there.
Wo – Ha.
Ta – And knowing liberates, right?
Wo – Yes.
Ta – Are you a knowing one?
Wo – In patches.
19:40 Friday 2nd June 2017

Breathing With Movement

​I believe,

in Tai Chi,

Breathing and Body Movement works opposite from Yoga Breathing.

In Yoga, you inhale when body extends and exhale when body shrinks.

In Tai Chi, I exhale when I kick or push, I inhale when I make boll.

Is that right?
Some people think –

In Tai Chi it works in both directions depending on the movement within the form. One inhales when creating the Crane for instance, yet exhales when one pushes in brush knee.
It is a question of bracing or relaxing. You relax and lengthen your postural muscles on the inhale and brace and shorten your postural muscles on the exhale.
We use both methodologies in Qigong/Tai Chi. Inhaling when opening the body and inhaling while closing the body. There is a difference between body structure and energy gathering and issuing. I would suggest a deeper study of Qigong and how energy is cultivated.
Breath in on a rise out in a sink. But don’t get too hung up about it. Things have to be natural.
Breathe naturally.
That is excellent advice by practitioners. Just like practicing movement. Move naturally. Why put another head on top of the one you already possess? Do animals and birds seek special training?
Another point. There are countless forms of exercises and just like Tai Chi, Yoga has numberless schools. Don’t waste your time. Once you decide on a path, stick to it. Listen to your master. Paradox is not a problem in the expert’s mind, only in the beginner’s mind.
Reverse breathing naturally occurs when your Qi, breath and movement link…better to not think about breathing….
The other point is that when you start regulating breath and particularly if you start “pushing” Qi with it, you can make yourself some problems…..that can be tricky to fix.
Depends how you approach training.
Natural abdominal breathing has its place. It helps the chest n spine sit right.
It produces relaxation. Practice it long and slow and you can say good bye to chest conditions.
The thing about training is that it is not natural. But it creates a foundation upon which you can become natural. And in Zen even the Enlightened continue training after Enlightenment.

“I believe, in Tai Chi, Breathing and Body Movement works opposite from Yoga Breathing. In Yoga, you inhale when body extends and exhale when body shrinks. In Tai Chi, I exhale when I kick or push, I inhale when I make boll. Is that right?”

— I asked the question in a Tai Chi group on Facebook and rest in this post are views from other practitioners. I’m not an expert of Qi-exercises, I’m not master of Tai Chi. I’m in process to be with Great Tao.

21:02 Friday, 02 December 2016

No Style Is Wrong Style, They Are Just Different 

A master who wandering beside a lake one day, heard the sounds of the ‘Walking On Water’ mantra being chanted incorrectly from an island a little way from the bank. The master, full of compassion for the errant and wishing to teach the correct formula, found a boat and rowed across the water to the island. (He had not yet mastered the method himself and had to make do with the more conventional means of crossing, i.e. a boat.)
Arriving at the camp of a young Sufi novice, he instructed him in the correct words and their order. The novice was delighted at the intervention of so venerable a master and thanked him profusely for taking the time to help. Returning to the boat, the master set out for the bank, rightfully contented at his good deed in helping the young man. Cut short in his thoughts he looked up in astonishment to see the young novice running on the water shouting, ‘Master, Master, come back, come back. I’ve forgotten the words.’

I read this story on a website I was surfing about Tai Chi. Yesterday I came to know some Tai Chi classes in Mumbai, their movements in YouTube videos are different from us. They are sometimes fast and sometimes slow. Their movements looks like they are making efforts and using muscles’ power. What I do is different – slow movement, concentrating on my body movements, with breathings, bent knees, circular way. They, according to their websites, provide fortification course also. I’m not certified from any institute, I learned from my teachers trio – ChiChi, Hui & Melody. I won’t say whose way is right because while doing Tai Chi, It’s revealed in me that Nothing Is Wrong, Just Different. I know 24, 48 & 32 (sword) and I don’t have certificate. I don’t have pay money anyone to certify me. 
Above story, I read yesterday evening and I came to know about Tai Chi Classes at noon yesterday. I was a bit sad and confused after knowing about classes but the story made me feeling comfortable. 
10:06 am Monday 28th November 2016

No Time For Self

“If you have time for Facebook, You have time to Meditate.”
— I read this quote yesterday on Facebook with Buddha’s photo, posted in a Facebook page propagating Buddhism. It has been echoing in my mind since yesterday – and because I didn’t go out today, I had been reading posts on Facebook and Whatsapp, and this is how I have wasted my day. Now is 00:14 am and I’m about to sleep. I know I may not sleep within minutes, and again my mind will take me somewhere in past, or in future, or it will be converting my desires into film inside.
I won’t be at present. They say — “If you are sad, you are in past. If you are anxious, you are worried about future. If you are in peace, you are at present.” Nice Quite, probably by Buddha, I don’t know properly.
Last morning I went to sleep again, and I was not actually sleeping. So I tried to watch what mind is trying to show me. I didn’t try to move those pictures, it was mind changing pictures one by one, and I was unsuccessfully trying to hold on each picture, and when I lost my consciousness I have forgot. When I wake up again, it was 13:30, noon.
Mind is so clever — I can say because of my own experience. Mind is harmful when it’s governed by emotions, which themselves are emerged by outer attractions. Here I can say — Budhananda’s book ‘Mann Aur Uska Nigrah’ was initially very helpful for me. Now I’m at least able to see what mind is willing about. I’m not governed by mind – 100% I’m not free from mind, but I’m aware a little, and so I know what mind tries me to think or wish about. But I don’t have control over my mind — I accept.

Still, there is something which keeps me run by mind – and Body functions according to instructions, — there I know, which instruction is coming out from where, but between instruction and act, I exist. This “I” is awareness, which lasts until the ‘act’ is done.

Then, — after the act, there is past with memory, with emotions begotten by the ‘act’.
If had a little control over my mind, I would not have wasted my day. I would have been praying, meditating, working, running for auditions, ..
00:45 Tuesday 25th October 2016