Balance, To Make Even


When you touch metals, you feel, your getting lighter, energy flows towards the body part in contact with metallic stuff.

If it’s wooden stuff, feeling is neutral.

If it’s woollen, or cotton, feeling is same as with wood.
Sensitivity depends on sincerity.

One can feel the touch, but not the flow.

Anything which comes in contact with other, does exchange something – either it’s energy or temperature, or something, – to keep balance.
Nature promotes balance.

Equality is final goal of all movements.

So the wind moves and we see in its extreme as typhoons. In ocean, there are so many rivers, we call them streams, wandering here to there, finding their appropriate place.
Balance, fulfilment, to make equal, is Tao!

To help in it, to support it, is being on the way.

The Way Is Great!
01:47 a.m. Monday 19th June 2017

Inside Contaminated By Outside 

​An entire universe is inside me! – they say. Ok, what happens inside me?

Is that actually me inside my mind or contaminated thoughts and feelings?
Worried about future which does not seem to be secured financially and socially.

– worries are formless and result of fear emerged out of financial conditions.

– financial conditions are created by economic society.

– society exists if one exists.
Not happy with Political situation of India  where a political party belongs extremist organization seems to rule according to their particular religion.

– I don’t belong to any political gangs existing in human society.

– unhappiness is because I’m afraid to see religious intolerance in coming future.

– extremist organizations are good when they are in power. They rule over everything even on media.

– small group having control over economy are controllers of political policies.

– particular religion is of course one of controlling tools but if all religions are same, then religious gurus must not be attached with any particular religion. 

– south asian subcontinent’s culture have always been a melting pot.
Tribals, Socially backwards, Religious Minorities seems unsafe under religious majority’s ruling party.

 – religion should have been away from political activities. Persons holding ministerial positions and elected by public should drop their religion during their political life. It makes other religious people feel unsafe.
Street plays are not sure when to be happened.

– I was not the one who submitted the project, what can I do?
Peer pressure to do theatre with them while the need is to get work on tv.

– It’s not easy to get work on tv.

– two production houses have not given me my payment.

– an artist is helpless until he becomes a celebrity.

– only celebrities enjoy luxurious artists’ life.
I see my feelings are infected by outside political social religious activities. My mind has been contaminated.
23:01 Saturday 18th March 2017

Universe Is Smaller Than Our World


No,

I can’t decide

How long she will be loving me

How long I will be loving her
No,

I can’t promise

That I will be forever with you

That I will be forever loving you
No,

I can’t trust you

That you will be there always for me

Because I know, Life is so uncertain
No,

I never force you

To be mine and stay with me

And to be there when I will leave you
No,

You are free

To live your life, to be what you want

My love was never to bind your soul
Yes,

I love you

For this time only, and feeling is for today

I will forget all yesterdays and tomorrow
Yes,

I live my life

At present, and I don’t have the future

And all my past have gone in memory
Yes,

You find me here

Always and forever at the moment

Which is here without past and future
Yes,

There is new sun

Every morning under the sky

Universe is smaller than our world

23:20, Thursday

21th of July, 2016

Smiling Closed Eyes

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I don’t live in darkness
Darkness lives in me
Said by whom I don’t know
But I guess, he was very sad

He may have had a life
To live long with happiness
But he left living his life
Because it was not worth to live

It was not what he wanted to be
He assumed his future was not that
But he didn’t kill himself
He just left living the life

And he let the life to go, find his way
And he became passive observer
And he refused to have control
And he refused to be controlled also

He was not died, he was not alive
He was not living, he was dying
He was not sleeping or awake
He was not laughing or crying

He disappeared suddenly
And was found far from this earth
Where life and death was two points
And he was between them smiling

But there was no light, no power
No energy or weaknesses for him
It was not dark, it was not peaceful
No emptiness, no silence, no enlightenment

He was not looking for these results
He was not to reach any results
He was not looking for anything
He met all were not of his mind

He came to know those words were fake
All books and teachings were wrong
Peace freedom emptiness are in mind
And enlightenment isn’t any achievement

Suddenly he found himself in light
And the light became himself
There was no darkness in or out
Peace and emptiness on smile

He had nothing to speak or share
He had nothing to gain or lose
He closed his eyes with smile on face
And became part of this universe

23:16
Thursday
16 June 2016

Photo: Vikram G.
Editing: Vivek G.

Eve Of My 34/35th Birthday

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Life is not good if you are not living as you want to live. Time is floating like river without any dam over it, and we are cursed to observe it helplessly. Tomorrow I’m turning 35 (35 or 34 I’m not sure and I dont want to count past years I had been spending so far). Great Han didn’t celebrate his birthday because he thought it was a day he caused pain to his mother. He would observe his birthday as penance. I’m just not interested even to remember the day. I dislike, yes I dislike the day very much!

Everything comes to me when my enthusiasm comes to die. I was born too late in my family and this is why I’m the youngest one in my siblings. I had been studying lately but left education without completing Ph.D. and lost four months to convince my family to allow me preparing for civil service, failed to crack the exam too.

I spent last years of my mom to let her know about my education. She would thought her 3rd son was most educated one in family. Those three nights and two days I had been crying continuously was the time I experienced depression on its peak. It resulted me lost my attachments with my family. All I wanted my mom in her last few years to realize what sin she has been doing to me!

I came to know that we should leave those people we are not happy with. I started cutting my desires to be fit in my present. Time is ruthless, cruel and having no consciousness. Future is said to be changed by having control over present, but do we have choices? Satre would say ‘Yes you had choice’ and he is right by his theory, but when it comes to take decision under given circumstances, one does what his ‘matter inside’ makes him do.

I really I wonder! After 34/35 years I’m still the same. Really, what a man says and thinks is not him. He actually is what he does, when times comes to perform.

Looking back and feeling proud on past is for tired older people. I don’t look back. I don’t want to look back. I’m scared to look back! There is 34 years old ghost behind me trying to pull me back towards my childhood when I was too young. It is oldest one memory I have. I was somewhere, in hot summer, alone, crying, standing beside one of remaining wall of a ruined old house. Atmosphere was yellowish in colour, and far from me there was a small cyclonic whirlwind. Hot, warm loo in air was willing to kill me. And I was crying, helplessly. I wish, the loo would have killed me that summer or the cyclone would  have taken me away from this world. I didn’t beg for this life!

They say, ‘be like a lion and live for a day.’ Do they know making proverbs and saying is too easy rather than following them? Following heart, staying and nourishing Buddhahood is not so easy my friends! I had been an unsuccessful so far, yet, till now! Sardar Purn Singh was right. He himself was in Nirvana! I just wish to taste that state of mind and my life will be accomplished.

I don’t need thousands of years with pain and sorrows! Let me be there, in that land, and I wish to loose everything I have collected in 34/35 years. In the eve of my birthday I wish to be diluted in peace. My desires and emotions, my consciousness would become part of universal energy and all five elements would absorb my body into themselves. I wish, there would be nothing after my life. No remainings. No rests. Only peace, energy and elements in their real forms!

Love ♡

Both Under Same Universe

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What comes in mind without making any efforts reflects inner world. It’s not meditation but a sort of Samadhi. It helps to see what one is for that particular time. Generally we are driven and controlled by our desires, emotions, thoughts, generated by outer world, circumstances, society, but everything which is out can not affect one’s inner body. There are many layers between inner and outer world. As much as one goes to seek inner world reaches to the key to control the outer world. Key is there in very deep of one, and life revolves around it. Yes it seems idealistic I know but it’s not closing eyes from outer world and staying inside, it’s being aware of both spaces and knowing  which one is controlling the other. And yes, this participation of inner and outer is idealistic, and actually both are under same universe and not two.

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