First Paying Student

I’m only in Green Park that has been continuing with Chinese friends so it was easy for others to notice me. I don’t know what people think about me or about my friends from China. Some people said me they like my Tai Chi movements. A person, more than 50 years, has  sometimes asked me to teach him Tai Chi but I took his words not seriously. When he suggested me to start a class and he would like to be my first paying-student, I agreed happily.
Next day, at decided time I reached at the park and he was six minutes late.

I asked him if he wants to learn without pay or would like to pay my fees?

I said 500/- rupees for 45 minutes session, per day, and he would learn 24 within 5-7 days, and rest 20 days will be for practicing.

Maybe, he misunderstood my words and thought I would charge 500/- per day for entire the month while my fees would be for 7 days only. Rest 20 days practice would be free. Initial 7 days I would ask him to be continue and and sincere.

He said he would give me 5000/- for entire the month.

I said – OK.

But,

Happened what, 

We started the class. And after some movements he found Tai Chi is too difficult for him. He thought me doing Tai Chi movements are smooth and easy but he realized too difficult and said – ‘Shekhar, I think I need to study it more then I should come to you again.’

I said – OK

I suggested him to watch videos also.

And this is how I lost my first paying student. My commercial class has been stopped before starting.
I think, I’m not good for teaching. Some people say me a good teacher but this example and experience was not good for me as Tai Chi teacher.
Another lady wanted to learn and after some classes she left. She also said me that she would give some fees but she never came back.
I feel, they like to see me doing Tai Chi, they feel it is easy and relaxing exercise, for body and mind but it is difficult when it comes to do for them.

..or I’m not good person to teach these people.
I don’t have any other options. Teaching Tai Chi would be another option. I’m hesitant to ask people for fees. This time I asked openly and student left.
18:45 Wednesday 7th June 2017

They Are Smart! Stupid Is Me! 


No no..

People are smart!
They are not fool to believe in you easily.

You cannot keep them ignorant for a long time.
They know you how much depth you have in your first meeting.

But they don’t tell you how stupid you are.
They either respect your inner-self or don’t want to make you feel sad. So they avoid argument.
Actually, they have been enjoying your stupidity. Your foolishness is their Entertainment.
Maybe they don’t know everything about you but they guess what you are, how honest you are.. who you are!
They understand everything.

They know all.
I cannot make fool to anyone. I don’t know how to take advantage of someone’s stupidity. I have no ability to get benefits from helplessness of someone.
I’m stupid.

I’m not smart.

I’m in my imaginary universe where I feel me comfortable to be.
I find me somehow unfit for this society

But I’m thankful to people, to everyone and everything for tolerating me.
Nothing is left.

People are smart.
22:41 Thursday 9th February 2017

World Is Built On Lies! 

THIS WORLD IS BUILT ON LIES !!
PEOPLE ARE HYPNOTIZED

BRAINWASHED SHEEPLE !!
I’M HATED BY MANY,

THEY TRY TO TURN ME

INTO A MONSTER LIKE THEM.
I ONLY FOLLOW MY HEAR.

WHEN IT TURNS INTO A MONSTER

I GUESS, I WILL FOLLOW.
ONE THING IL NEVER QUIT

THAT’S MY INSTINCT.
ALL THAT YOU TOUCH

AND ALL YOU SEE

ARE ALL YOUR LIFE WILL EVER BE.
IF YOU THINK, I’M HAPPY; 

THEN WHY DOSE EVERYTHING FEELS SO SAD ??
MY BRAIN IS ALL MESSED UP.

IT’S ONLY GOOD WITH NUMBERS.

I FOLLOW MY HEART,

BIPOLAR,

MANIC DEPRESSIVE,

INSOMNIAC !!
I GOT SO MANY MORONS

JUDGING MY EVERY MOVE.

I WANT THEM DIE PEACEFULLY

BUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
YEARS AGO,

I HAVE REFUSED TO BE NORMAL,

I HAVE REFUSED TO BE BULLIED.

I MAY SEEM WEAKER

THROUGH MY OUTER APPEARANCE

BUT REMEMBER,

ONCE A WOLF IS ALWAYS A WOLF !!
COME ON !

UNDERESTIMATE ME !!
I’M CALLING  OUT,

I DARE TO LIVE WITHOUT THEM,

THEY CAN’T EVEN TOUCH PEACE.
TO BE HONEST, I BELIEVE

ANIMALS ON THE SCALE

ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN HUMANS.

I ALSO DON’T BELIEVE

SHEEPLE WILL NEVER WAKE UP.
SILLY SHEEPLE

KEEP PRAYING

BRAIN WASHED WILL NEVER WAKE UP.
IF LOYAL TO MY FACE,

YOU BEST BE LOYAL BEHIND MY BACK.
I REMEMBER HAPPINESS,

IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
OF COURSE I HAVE

AN OPINION,

BUT NOT ON EVERYTHING HAPPENS.
ALL I SEE IS EVIL

EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE,

BEAUTY IS COVERED BY DARKNESS.

THEN,

HOW COULD YOU

POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND ME ??
I KNOW WHO I AM

I AM MY INSTINCT

THE ANIMAL INSIDE HUMAN BODY.

I DONT FORGIVE,

I DONT FORGET,

EVEN AFTER I TAKE REVENGE

I CELEBRATE THEIR PAIN.
WHEN YOUR HEART BECOMES NUMB,

LIKE MINE HAS,

YOU’LL COME TO KNOW,

HUMANS ARE MAJORITY

ARE CRUEL AND DIRTY.

ANIMALS ARE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
SEEMS LIKE NOTHING CHANGES.

IT ALL FEELS THE SAME.

TIME IS GONE LEAVING SCARCE

ON HEART.
I WISH !

I WILL DIE AS A WOLF.
I MAY APPEAR TO BE BROKEN,

I MAY APPEAR TO BE DARK,

I WOULDN’T CHANGE A THING.
LET ALL THEM SAY

HOW TO WORSHIP A Fake DEVIL,

NO MORE THAN A FAKE GOD.

I KNOW THE ENERGY AND MATTER

WITH CONSCIOUSNESS AND LAW.
RESPECT IS EARNED

NOT BOUGHT

THAT YOU MUST KNOW BETTER

AFTER THOUSANDS OF YEARS.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST

SIT BACK AND LET PEOPLE

CONTINUE TO KILL PEACE ON EARTH.

UNTIL THERE ARE ARMS

WE ARE ALWAYS ON WARS.
THIS WORLD OF HUMANS 

IS BUILT ON LIES !!

PEOPLE ARE HYPNOTIZED !!
07:22 AM WEDNESDAY

17 AUGUST 2016


Universe Is Smaller Than Our World


No,

I can’t decide

How long she will be loving me

How long I will be loving her
No,

I can’t promise

That I will be forever with you

That I will be forever loving you
No,

I can’t trust you

That you will be there always for me

Because I know, Life is so uncertain
No,

I never force you

To be mine and stay with me

And to be there when I will leave you
No,

You are free

To live your life, to be what you want

My love was never to bind your soul
Yes,

I love you

For this time only, and feeling is for today

I will forget all yesterdays and tomorrow
Yes,

I live my life

At present, and I don’t have the future

And all my past have gone in memory
Yes,

You find me here

Always and forever at the moment

Which is here without past and future
Yes,

There is new sun

Every morning under the sky

Universe is smaller than our world

23:20, Thursday

21th of July, 2016

System, Freeman & Nature!

image

Thay created currency system to ease exchanging things
Later, currency became more important than things

They propagated that if you have currency more than others, you will have more opportunity to buy things

They started buying Labour through currency
And gradually, non materialistic things became saleable if one has currency

Earlier, land was considered to be having wealth
And before that, keeping animals was sign of being rich
We never considered anyone having good character, pure heart, kindness, is a rich one

Entire in our history, we never praises anyone is rich by heart, rich by good understanding, rich by kindness.

So everything has become money
I need food, I need money to buy food
I need money to buy cloth, drinking water, fruits and sometimes, to buy air also
While, mother-nature has already provided me all what I needed.

I wish, people couldn’t help each other without money and
Painter would draw painting for himself
Actors would act for themselves
Doctors could cure people for humanity

I wish, people would be governed by kindness
Loving heart could drive people to sacrifice them for others
And everyone would do their duty with pure mind

Hate, anger, jealousy, competitiveness, are not for a pure heart
And pure mind
Even not for stones, trees, air, water..

One can’t ignore impurities emerge in mind,
But it’s possible to leave and detached with them

Currency system is just one of those systems have been misunderstood and misused by people so far.
There are many systems in practice in this world
But the best system is one made by nature
Not by human beings

A freeman cares about the system ruled by nature
He looks inside himself
And become satisfied, far from competitiveness

13:23
22nd of June, 2016

She Is Married Already!

image

She doesn’t write much. She doesn’t prove herself a writer. She posts pics, small posts, short poems, short stories etc. She writes for herself. She doesn’t write to tell something, she writes because she wants to write. She is not to compete with anyone, any writer. She seems happy with her married life, and she is not to change the world. No, she is not selfish, I can say. She is not revolutionary like feminists because she is satisfied with her small world. Ok, her world is small, but she knows her world. She is not like so called thinkers. She doesn’t cry for poors. She is not angry with rich people. She doesn’t know about Illuminati & Anonymous. She has nothing to do with Dalit issues. She doesn’t want ro know about Tribal people’s problems. She is middle class married woman, she is happy.

She will die peacefully after completing her normal life with her children and husband. She is not ambitious to make her life unforgettable for history. Though she is well educated but I don’t know she works somewhere or not.

She made me think that being serious is not always good. Writing and thinking on serious topics makes no difference. People who want to do work to solve problems, are already there on field. Immatured people start typing and posting on social platforms, without full information about the matter.

I cannot understand why women have better understanding than men. They easily can differentiate what is important and what is not. If all religious gurus and political leaders would be women, maybe we wouldn’t have so much wars and hate in this world.

She writes what she has in her mind. Few lines, sometimes poem, sometimes she posts pix downloaded from Google, received through whatsapp. She made me think that you don’t need to think much to write. Write what you have in your mind. I started writing blogs to empty myself. Though my diary-writing was to treasur my thoughts & feelings of that time.

Our crying for poor dalits and tribals doesn’t make any change in real. We cry and think that we have done our duty to save humanity. I now understand that I should not write much serious posts. Women think much better than men. No matter for what they think for. A women similar to a man on birth, society, environment, education and money, may think better than the man. She is an engineer, and belongs to an upper middle class family now. She, of course, is a better thinker than me and many other writers.

She is married women and I shouldn’t tell her name publicly on my blog. She is second girl on WordPress I’m impressed with her writings, and my badluck, she is married already.